Neurodiversity-Affirming Practices and Their Influence

While non-affirming practices made participants hesitant about seeking therapy again, some considerations that helped mitigate apprehensions about therapy included being able to find a therapist with similar values and beliefs, identities – queer, neurodivergent, polyamorous, etc., – and, in some cases, opinions on macro issues of the world. Identity-based matching can allow the clients’ identities to be safely integrated in therapy with increased hopes of identity- and oppression-related competence in the therapist, thus facilitating a sense of understanding and rapport. 

Participants also spoke about intentional practices that made for an affirming experience. One example was the therapist validating the client’s struggles with neurodivergence and acknowledging certain actions and emotions as ‘normal’ – such as touching one’s face while talking to self-regulate, moving during the sessions, being overwhelmed by something that does not usually overwhelm neurotypicals – experiences now accepted as part of neurodivergent culture. This made participants feel understood, compassionate towards themselves, and liberated from self-blame as they experienced a dismantling of neuronormative expectations. They also felt that their neurodivergence was appreciated, improving their confidence and helping them ask for accommodations in their relationships. 

Another significant finding was how much participants valued their autonomy in the therapy space. Therapists checking with clients about activities comfortable for them, collaboratively setting goals, letting clients steer the conversation, etc., place the locus of control back with the client. In a world that actively thwarts their agency and increases their internalised ableism, infantilisation, and helplessness, such practices can make them feel more in charge of their own lives as it places the therapist and the client on a more equal footing. 

Other affirming practices included therapists making the experience more accessible for clients, by removing a noisy clock, closing the windows, turning down the lights, or providing session reminders. This helped clients build a ‘second skin’, which acted as an added layer of safety and comfort within the session.

Participants also spoke about therapists’ attentiveness in observing and understanding them, which allowed them to discover their neurodivergent identity and gave them the language and framework to understand their actions as opposed to seeing themselves as ‘evil’ or ‘a bad person’.